Yesterday during lunch at the buffet place, I was on line waiting and this woman was completely like up my ass. Like I do not understand why she had to stand like 1/2 cm away from me...then outta nowhere she thinks the line is moving when it's not, she ends up basically grabbing my ass. I was like, "Woah, you didn't buy me dinner yet so that's not gonna happen." But whatever, there's no point in saying anything cause they don't take anything I say seriously anyways. So I told my mom that I was sexually molested before and she told me that I should have turned around, smiled at the woman, told her I liked it and she should do it again. Haha, that probably would have given that woman a heart attack if I had done so. Oh but this was funny, this just happened before when I was in AC Moore getting some stuff...I was smelling the candles and this lady next to me licks it, yes, she LICKS it. So she screams in disgust, "Sick, it tastes like soap! Can you believe that? That's so gross!" She's totally looking at me as if I should respond and agree with her but all I could say to her was, "Yeah, candles kinda do that." Of course she was pissed off and just went off on me, whatever, first you licked a candle, then you're yelling at me when I make it obvious that you're a retard...way to go in trying to salvage some respect for yourself :P

So the secret's out....about my mom.....dun dun dun...that "she's got it going on!" Haha...after being told by numerous people, I've finally heard the song Stacy's Mom. Damn, and all this time I thought you guys came over for me, but instead it's been a cover to really check out my mom huh? :P

Ohh my....of all the things last night, I really don't know which was better! Having the band cover "The Anthem" and as he sang my fave line, he did the actual "playing" with himself movement. Seeing one of the a-holes from my neighbor triple from freshman year and then literally running into him the whole night. The chicas being asked to go back to some guys' pool & hot tub. Witnessing amusingly a 47-year old woman in a mini pratically give her husband a lapdance & being flashed her hotspot numerous times (so serious about this). Being bumped across the room by some ghetto booty that needed to settle down! Perfecting the sternum slide that it doesn't freak Lis out anymore. Hearing the "Uh oh Uh oh" song. Watching another bar slut try to seduce all the band members as she did the dip over and over. Yeah, so it was definitely one of those times where you feel dirty just from watching :P

Like I've always known how retarded I am when it comes to computers but I don't think I have really ever fully realized it yet till today. Can I just say it took me forever to find my USB port on the tower? I had to go under the desk, bust out a flashlight and look everywhere. I guess from all the dust balls that the spaces had collected, it made it harder? I was like looking at all these big slots and I was like how the hell is the tiny connecter gonna stay in? Finally I had to give up and call and ask someone. I think I'd like to make myself believe that if the massive dust bunnies hadn't collected and covered up all the holes, I would have been able to find it ;) Speaking of randomness, so some fam came over for dinner and outta nowhere they were talking about these "adult" movies from the past...my mom was saying that she doesn't understand how someone so chunky and ugly could have the guts to just strip down and stuff. Then my uncle goes, "Well, if you go back to those kind of movies from like 1960s, they all have girls that do not cut it." Uhm yeah...I don't think it's just from then, I've seen a share of some fuglies in nowadays adult film, which I guess that's what makes it funny when they have nasty people in them. Yo but the best line was that he said, "Back then when all the girls were natural, it just wasn't good." Oh my....maybe it's just me but I thought we were having a family dinner...I seriously felt like they had forgotten that I was in the middle of the table or the fact that I could understand them...oh wells, never a dull moment :P

Oh my, what a weekend...one of those were you wish you never had to wake up early to work! The car ride down despite all the traffic was most "interesting"...filled with me relaying perverted signs on paper (which took a lot of heart) & supplying candy ammo to Bach for chuckage at the other cars. Know what gets me though, when you're stuck in mad traffic and out of nowhere it's completely clear and you can push like 80 and it just makes you wonder what the hell was the holdup in the first place?? But unfortunately to my poor traumatized eyes I was able to witness why there was a semi-holdup....apparently a car with a couple around the age of 50 was in the middle of a full-fledged makeout session...I'm talking that the driver was literally in the passenger seat. Mmm yummy, I think I should have been paid to have to witness that! Hmm soo much crap, i don't wanna start rambling and rambling. I had a lot of fun educating all the guys on my special "knowledge" of sick things...I used to think it was just fun enough shocking the crap out of Kev...but when the whole car freaks, it's great, that's what I'm talking about being priceless. Oh so that new casino Borgata is pretty nice, they're trying to copy like Las Vegas but it definitely did not compare to it. Yo such a scary sight though...I was looking out the window at like 3am and there was this minivan with this asian woman staring straight at me. Holy crap, I almost crapped my pants...she was soooooo scary looking, she was PALE white, she had this huge frizzy hair like she just got electrically shocked and all I could see were these completely black vacant eyes..good thing someone else saw or I would have thought I hallucinated! I'm just glad that were able to pull off the 13 people in two rooms without getting caught...but it's good to know that Faisal would jump out the window if we got caught. The next day at WW was nice, got to meet up with Em for like an hour while she was on her family vacation :) I miss you chica! Yo, those Tram cars are sooo freaking annoying...every other second you'd hear the most annoying voice telling you to watch out for them. I don't think anyone will understand that I do NOT want to eat fries or fast food of any sort for a looonng time. But at least the sexy one drove all the way to BRT for my awesome pasta & garlic knots...oh and the gas scare..thanks so much! All I can say about this lil July 4th getaway is that it was filled with soo many laughs, perverse conversations (esp when I'm the only girl stuck in the backseat), new vast knowledge of guy things, gaining a new dad & Nemo doll, that Bach's gas light likes to lie at least 4 times to you, that Kev looks like a tampon (i mean lost 10 lbs, haha), that I will always be the "mom" and supply everything....but most of all, that graduating definitely wasn't saying goodbye, it was just merely a see you later! Oh on a side note, after getting back on Sunday of course I get slammed with errands to do...so I had to drop off my cousin Kev at Halo Pub, I find it funny he works in ice cream and so did FAS Kev :P Well, apparently a freaking dragonfly had gotten into the car when I went to pick him up and I had a total sh*tfest...like full fledged freaking out and screaming for the nasty nasty thing to get out...eventually he was able to flick it out but now he also thinks I'm a total space cadet cause of that..but it's all good :)