Back, back, back it up!


Why do people have such road rage? So this afternoon, there seemed to be some massive traffic once turning into an alley. None of the cars ahead were moving at all and more cars just kept coming into the alley. Well, eventually some bystanders were saying that there was some ambulance just stopped in the middle of the one-way street. The guy in the car ahead of me starts reversing...uhm hello, I'm still behind here with like 9 cars behind me. So he starts screaming out of his window to back up, and starts waving around his hands as if he's having an epileptic seizure. I put my car into reverse hoping the car behind me will get the hint and so on and so on. Well apparently no one was going to try to start backing all the way out. Soo, the angry man in front of me gets out his car and starts cursing me off, saying, "What the f is wrong with you? BACK your car out now! I don't want to sit here forever!! Back it up, back it up!! Shift it into reverse you stupid biatch!" I don't know if it was the heat, the traffic, the fact that I was getting my ass chewed by a lunatic, the fact that I was going to be late, or what...I decided to belt right back to him. So I scream out, "Calm down! Like going apeshit on me is going to magically make the cars disappear?? How can I back up if I have all these cars behind me?? Why don't you go try telling all these cars behind me to move? See if you can get them to back out of this alley that has double-sided parked cars which makes the street even tighter than your anus right now!!" Well lucky me, apparently he found me calling him an uptight prick to be hilarious and he finally calmed down and started laughing. Of course at the point I hadn't realized that he could have totally grabbed me out of my car and beaten me to a bloody pulp. But at least a few minutes afterwards, the ambulance finally started moving and we were all able to get a move on.

Watch what you say, you never know who's listening!


Yeahhh, apparently if anyone uses Nextel and that walkie-talkie biz, you do not want me having a conversation with you! Poor Hoey fell victim to my shenanigans. We were driving and we happened to see him in the car in front of us but he later pulled into a bank. So in a few minutes I get on the phone with him and I ask him: "Why are you going into a bank so late?? Are you going to rob it?!?!" I thought it was weird but he started sssshiing me and was like, "Be quiet, don't say that!" I was seriously wondering why he was being such a baby bout it so I start saying, "Well, if you do, all I want is 10G's...that's it's just 10G's, I'm not greedy!" Soo apparently later on I find out later that he uses that walkie-talkie stuff and everyone else could hear me asking him if he was going to rob the bank...that's why he freaked out and tried to lower the volume! Haha oopsy! (beef cake is good but beef jerky is better!) :)

A full tank of gas with a side of offensiveness


Over the past 2 weeks at different gas stations, I've been encountering the same question. "Are you China?" If I hear one more person say that to me I am going flip out and beat the crap outta them with their own arms!! Come on, what am I a country now?? Or is that I'm just huge enough to be one giant entity? It's not like I go around asking people if they are Portugal, Italy, or Japan. I dunno, I just find it aggravating to hear that. I already don't like it when that's the first thing people ask...like oh what are you? Like that matters so much.

Not Your Typical Street Vendor


Strangest thing that I have seen over the past few weeks: I noticed that there was some man standing in the middle of the street, where there are huge bubbled yellow lines (probably for cops to sit there and do nothing but psyche you out), well he was waving around these silver circular objects. At first glance, I assumed that maybe they were hubcaps or something? But yeah...on the way back home, I really slowed down and looked...apparently he was selling...pies. Yeah, they were baked pies wrapped in seran wrap. I just find that so weird, who sells pies in the middle of streets?? Also, would you really have the guts to eat them? Maybe I should have rolled down my window and found out what flavors they were :P

Ugh, another note..thanks to my just now painful discovery...I now know why the computer towers are made so tall. It's so that when you swing around in your chair you can bash your knee right into it!! Now why couldn't they have designed it to be longer and flat, like a chod?