I was shot in the eye tonight....by Kevin's bro....with a rubber band!! Let me just say that sh*t hurts :P

Disappointing Balls

This totally slipped my mind. Last Tuesday I went to my cousin Emily's graduation for NYU. Yeah, so I thought I was bored out of my mind at my own, but this one took the cake. It was in MSG, let me just say sitting there for like 3 hours (which isn't really that bad compared to the 6.5 hours at mine) in the pee-smelling arena sucked. I have no clue why it smelled like urine, but it did, that's all I could think about the whole time; cept when towards the end, one of the graduates totally streaked and all I could see was bare butt cheeks and his lil twig & berries on the big screen. His momma & pops must have been so proud.

Well, originally we were going to have dinner in that restaurant in Central Park. But then Emily loves that tv show with that restaurant called Rocco's. I have never seen that show before but I was gung-ho for anything. Well one of the main characters on the show called Mama (she's this old gran-mama person) was in there greeting everyone. The menu was very small, not that many choices actually. I was staring at the appetizers and of course having my obsession with meatballs...I took notice to the "Mama's Knows Best Meatball Appetizer." It was $8, so I was totally anticipating that these meatballs be the size of my head and that they would totally make you faint after eating them cause they're so great. Well, the waiter brings it out...guess how many balls there were? 3, yes 3...3 average sized golf ball meatballs! How are you going to charge $8 for 3 balls, you'd get a better deal hitting up some guy on the corner! So I go for the first taste, uhm yeah, they tasted like supermarket frozen food meatballs. After the appetizers were done, Mama came around to ask us how things were, dude, I so wanted be like, "Mama, your balls suck!" My cousin Kevin wanted to tell her that he had better at Sam's Club. The food was alright, but they did have good desserts. Of course, being the typical asian parents...they wanted to swipe the dishes that had Rocco's printed on it. Seriously..I don't think I will ever understand why they have the urge to do that? I remember when we took a family vacation to Las Vegas back in highschool...they took the egyptian themed dishes/cups from Luxor. So I have learned my lesson, I will not fall for Mama knows best food :P

So lucky me, apparently I was bit by something insane the other night. The following day at work, it was just mad itchy and red, plus it hurt like hell everytime I stepped down on my foot. That made my day so enjoyable. Well then, Friday...I realize that it has now swollen up to the size of an orange basically. It was sooo gross, my entire left foot was so huge! Kevin apparently thought it would be funny to call it a cankle...thanks for the support! Though I must say, it did seem like I had one really really fat foot, so I'm gonna have to put fat feet on the unattractive list from now on. To make things better, my mom decides to freak me out by saying that it's abnormal and that I'm gonna need a shot to cure it and that if I don't, it'll be amputated. So of course I'm freaking out and I rush over to the doctor's after work. Well, what did this PH.D smartie tell me? "You're just having an allergic reaction to this bite. This sometimes happens to people. You just have to be patient and it will go down. But don't scratch it because it will make it worse." Uhm no shiiiit, why would I be here to see you if I didn't think I was having some kind of freaky reaction to it?? And if I wanted the pain of limping and wobbling with a foot the size of my head, I would have just waited like a week till it went down then. Obviously I wanted faster and safer results. So he eventually prescribed me these 2 meds. One tastes like licking a lead pipe while the other eases the scratching by making my whole body numb. Real nice, obviously I won't scratch when my body is completely paralyzed and I have completely conked out in whatever location I happened to be in when it all kicked in. But seriously, why do we have to pay doctors muchos muchos dinero for them to tell me the same exact thing that I knew in the first place? Ahh, and another aggravating thing, while waiting for the prescription to get filled...why does it take 30 minutes for them to count out like 20 pills? Is it really that hard? It's not like they're physically making the pills from scratch, pouring them into lil molds to get them shaped and then cutting them out or something (yeah I know that's probably NOT how they make pills).

So one time I had meant to say, "children under 5 have to be accompanied by adults" but instead I said, "children under 5 have to be occupied by adults". I understand how wrong and perverse that sounded. But what I don't get is why I can't use the word occupy like that. I mean, you hear people say, "go find something to occupy yourself with." Sooo...why can't I say that I'm occupying someone?? Ya know, like I'm helping them have something to do. Seriously, I don't understand why it's not correct...then what word am I supposed to use instead?